again... i cry again one week before grading.... the good news is i still decided to take part.. not like the past...

so sad... cant deny wat sir said is true... i hav done my best but yet showing no improvment especially in rasping n one-step sparring... i noe sir wants his students to be among the best n i also dream to b one of the best taekwondo seniors in SJK(C)Perempuan... n not loosing too far away from seniors of center...maybe sir hav exerted too much pressure on me...?? tat is for my own good.. i know it deep inside my heart... i hav been holding my tears for the sake not to well out from my eyes since Friday... it would be very embarrassing if i cry in front of the seniors... i'm not as good as them still if i cry they will definitely think tat i'm soft, useless... serious.... i juz could not concentrate when partner wif pek o i can but i juz... i noticed one thing after partnering wif her, tat is she likes to flung me on the floor... haha... juz a joke... n so i brook down when i was sparring wif my bro n jana on sunday public class.... i wish to tell them tat it was not their fault... juz tat i was too upset tat time n finally let it go... next i did a terrible thing... i let my anger but mostly sadness be my master... use all my energy when i rasping wif sir... while doing i noe i should not do it so harshly n inside me there was a soft voice kept telling me not to do too hard on sir but the negative side was too powerful... quite sad though u said nvm just do ur part... i wish to say i'm sorry to u for letting u down n thanks for pujuk me... although i pretended not to hue u but i do hear wat u said... i hope u know it...

anyway i'll improve myself according to wat u hav said to me... i juz not used to be scolded by people, including mum, dad, school teacher n sir... for me sir is not juz a normal coach but a different n special coach... i do feel bad scolding by u... n i believe u also wont feel anybetter scolding me too... pek, shan, jo r my role models since the day they went to our school for coaching the juniors... not only them, other seniors like wei yan, our leader, alvin, edmund, joey, ernest,loo peng, loo khai, howard, loo xuan, juz to name a few amazed me!!! not only they r good but they also show many cheerful smiles....